jot-a-note

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Salmon Steak & Broccoli with Cheese Sauce


This one is fulfilling - and satisfying ♥

Finding out that fish is a typical food for me, I crave for something else rather than chicken and beef.

Salmon fillet is indeed mouthwatering even when it is still raw. The fresh color of the meat makes me want to have it right away once i see it.

I marinated the fillet in honey, minced garlic, soy sauce and drops of lime juice. Then, I panfried it with drops of extra virgin olive oil. It came out tender and juicy, with a light flavor.

The broccoli on the side of the plate which was covered with thick cheese sauce was heaven ♡

I also added carrots to add to my veggie craving.

And, some ready-to-eat french fries made the dish just lovely!

Salmon Steak & Broccoli with Cheese Sauce


This one is fulfilling - and satisfying ♥

Finding out that fish is a typical food for me, I crave for something else rather than chicken and beef.

Salmon fillet is indeed mouthwatering even when it is still raw. The fresh color of the meat makes me want to have it right away once i see it.

I marinated the fillet in honey, minced garlic, soy sauce and drops of lime juice. Then, I panfried it with drops of extra virgin olive oil. It came out tender and juicy, with a light flavor.

The broccoli on the side of the plate which was covered with thick cheese sauce was heaven ♡

I also added carrots to add to my veggie craving.

And, some ready-to-eat french fries made the dish just lovely!

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Chinese Sweet & Sour Chicken


It was my first homemade cooking despite the fact that I love cooking. Indeed, I really need strong motivation to make myself cook, because living far away from home makes it hard for me to cook comfortably. I have to consider kitchen tools which are not as complete as at home.

But the coming Ramadan and the marriage bring me closer to homemaker thingy - and, i find myself fall for cooking ever more.

The dish is simple and challenging - and, slices of pineapple make it much better.


Yumm!

Chinese Sweet & Sour Chicken


It was my first homemade cooking despite the fact that I love cooking. Indeed, I really need strong motivation to make myself cook, because living far away from home makes it hard for me to cook comfortably. I have to consider kitchen tools which are not as complete as at home.

But the coming Ramadan and the marriage bring me closer to homemaker thingy - and, i find myself fall for cooking ever more.

The dish is simple and challenging - and, slices of pineapple make it much better.


Yumm!

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D-8.
and, i was going crazy! >_<
when i looked into his flights itinerary, which were surely tiring and hell, i was frozen. completely numb!
i know, i know. there were days like these, when i want to just stop the time, so that he will always be by my side.
but then, i know myself - that I. Will. Never. Let. Him. Down.
none will hold him back from going to the United States.
he said, "prepare everything fast. get your visa done, and come to me."
guess i shouldn’t mind being apart for a while, rite?
still, his leaving me simply breaks my heart.

p.s: love you more

D-8.

and, i was going crazy! >_<

when i looked into his flights itinerary, which were surely tiring and hell, i was frozen. completely numb!

i know, i know. there were days like these, when i want to just stop the time, so that he will always be by my side.

but then, i know myself - that I. Will. Never. Let. Him. Down.

none will hold him back from going to the United States.

he said, "prepare everything fast. get your visa done, and come to me."

guess i shouldn’t mind being apart for a while, rite?

still, his leaving me simply breaks my heart.

p.s: love you more

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Today, i behaved miserably. Totally jerk.

I was.

I am.

Tonight, i forced him to come heartlessly. Making me the evil one.

I was.

I am.


I hurt him.
I was forgiven - as always.

But… i heard it when he said that he bruised deep inside his heart - an eternal mark stayed there.

A badly injured and painful piece stays there.

Forever.

I did it.
I did it.
Again and again.

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&#8230; two cuts within two days - and i have just realized that i am THAT careless! &#8230;

… two cuts within two days - and i have just realized that i am THAT careless! …

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been listening to some songs repeatedly - over and over again; like i can’t get enough!

i knew Linkin Park for the first time when i was in high school - almost 14 years ago. the very first memory of it was when i was sitting on the floor in an afternoon after getting back from school. i sat comfortably; feeling the cold floor beneath my skin, and i focused on MTV; airing Linkin Park’s ONE STEP CLOSER. i thought, “Wow, it’s rough!”

i kinda liked Chester’s spiky blonde hair and his screaming - while loving the whole thing about the music video and the band - the green filter and the band members. i had been into Backstreet Boys and pop songs before, so it was actually the first time that i began to notice and turned my attention to rock genre - until now.

IN PIECES is a great song - with Chester’s peculiarity, the band’s typicality, and great lyric. of course, i interpret it my way. to my perspective, the song has desperative emotion, yet powerful. i feel like there are two sides of story in the song. on one side, i feel like i am told to come out honestly, because no matter how i try to fake something, the truth reveals. on the other side, i feel like i am going to be left behind and i let it happen and i , somehow, am unable to deny that i am going to be broken … in pieces.

how am i not going to be?

Arizona in the US is not a joke - and how is he gonna be without me?! ( no. it’s “how am i gonna be without him”!)

i happen to notice Ryan Cabrera’s RISE just recently. i mean, despite the fact that i have known him since my college years - 10 years ago.

the song captured me in a sweet way - instead of mellow; telling me that everything about him is everything i want to deal with, and something about a morning rain. i fell right away for its opening tune - just like IN PIECES did me.

awesome!


pict: courtesy of google.com

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Punya akun instagram yang sempat dicuekin beberapa saat lamanya, dan kemudian posting foto dengan tag band kesayangan?

Tidak terduga, ketika orang-orang yang sama sekali tidak berada di lingkaranku menyukainya, padahal aku hanya ingin berbagi keseruan.

Aku selalu berpikir, betapa jauhnya aku dengan orang-orang yang kuharapkan satu &#8220;rasa&#8221; denganku, betapa &#8220;kesepian&#8221;nya aku karena selama ini entah dimana mereka yang kuharapkan akan sama excited-nya denganku mengenai suatu hal; dan sekarang, aku tahu aku semakin memiliki akses dekat dengan mereka; satu keluarga besar, meskipun extended family, tetap saja keluarga.

Bukan sekedar fans, meskipun aku merasa diriku cukup fanatik; tetapi juga keluarga: the Echelon.

Kadang aku pikir aku ini terlalu segitu-nya dengan perasaan menjadi seorang fans, but loving a band with all of your heart is something you understand when it happens to you; others can see it a petty obsession but they will just never know the feeling of putting so much faith into a few people on the other side of the world.

Well, it HAPPENS to me!

Thank you rainhudson a.k.a Rain Leto for being so encouraging, Laura Carvajal Correa, Matty of Hungary, Maria Julia Lobo, ECHELON_30STM_FAMILY, serrraaaa, Elisa Teresa Ricciardi, Dali, Diego of Brazil, Martina Bonaiti, Agata of Poland, and Team Fuggaz of German Echelon - so far, for being within my circle, and being very amazing!

 I am the Echelon ♥

Punya akun instagram yang sempat dicuekin beberapa saat lamanya, dan kemudian posting foto dengan tag band kesayangan?

Tidak terduga, ketika orang-orang yang sama sekali tidak berada di lingkaranku menyukainya, padahal aku hanya ingin berbagi keseruan.

Aku selalu berpikir, betapa jauhnya aku dengan orang-orang yang kuharapkan satu “rasa” denganku, betapa “kesepian”nya aku karena selama ini entah dimana mereka yang kuharapkan akan sama excited-nya denganku mengenai suatu hal; dan sekarang, aku tahu aku semakin memiliki akses dekat dengan mereka; satu keluarga besar, meskipun extended family, tetap saja keluarga.

Bukan sekedar fans, meskipun aku merasa diriku cukup fanatik; tetapi juga keluarga: the Echelon.

Kadang aku pikir aku ini terlalu segitu-nya dengan perasaan menjadi seorang fans, but loving a band with all of your heart is something you understand when it happens to you; others can see it a petty obsession but they will just never know the feeling of putting so much faith into a few people on the other side of the world.

Well, it HAPPENS to me!

Thank you rainhudson a.k.a Rain Leto for being so encouraging, Laura Carvajal Correa, Matty of Hungary, Maria Julia Lobo, ECHELON_30STM_FAMILY, serrraaaa, Elisa Teresa Ricciardi, Dali, Diego of Brazil, Martina Bonaiti, Agata of Poland, and Team Fuggaz of German Echelon - so far, for being within my circle, and being very amazing!

I am the Echelon ♥

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back then, i kind of havin&#8217; a superb childhood; and the feeling like i miss those things from the past is undeniable.
Curious George was never into my attention before, but finally my big sister told me everything about it. loving it as a whole is easy; since it is not only my all-time favorite genre of motion picture, but also it is a monkey, and not just a monkey: IT is George.
the oh-so-cute package also reminds me of snacking the very chocolate-topped banana bits; in a bowl. bits by bits, with the mushy sensation, fulfilling my satisfaction. so far, belum ada yang mengalahkan &#8221;mewah&#8221;-nya rasa sirup cokelat Hershey&#8217;s. a legend by itself. a perfect dip for all that i fancy&#160;: keripik kentang, batang sawi, potongan wortel, batang seledri, dan bahkan untuk rasa se-ekstrim potongan paprika. 
and, yes, yell-o is one of those unbeatable shades of color. i love the heat of the sun, i love Coldplay&#8217;s YELLOW, and i love my big yellow parka jacket - no matter how people used to refer it to &#8230; raincoat -_- hell, they obviously ARE two different things!
the first time i spotted the package days ago, i did feel like when i was at my 8th or something, and received the package for the very first time with the biggest astonishment, ever!

back then, i kind of havin’ a superb childhood; and the feeling like i miss those things from the past is undeniable.

Curious George was never into my attention before, but finally my big sister told me everything about it. loving it as a whole is easy; since it is not only my all-time favorite genre of motion picture, but also it is a monkey, and not just a monkey: IT is George.

the oh-so-cute package also reminds me of snacking the very chocolate-topped banana bits; in a bowl. bits by bits, with the mushy sensation, fulfilling my satisfaction. so far, belum ada yang mengalahkan ”mewah”-nya rasa sirup cokelat Hershey’s. a legend by itself. a perfect dip for all that i fancy : keripik kentang, batang sawi, potongan wortel, batang seledri, dan bahkan untuk rasa se-ekstrim potongan paprika. 

and, yes, yell-o is one of those unbeatable shades of color. i love the heat of the sun, i love Coldplay’s YELLOW, and i love my big yellow parka jacket - no matter how people used to refer it to … raincoat -_- hell, they obviously ARE two different things!

the first time i spotted the package days ago, i did feel like when i was at my 8th or something, and received the package for the very first time with the biggest astonishment, ever!

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finally!
ARTIFACT of 30 Seconds To Mars ♡
never thought that behind some great music and awesome personas of the band, there goes a very tough struggle to live every single beat of this life.
mungkin aku tidak memahami kenapa industri musik begitu rumit, melelahkan, dan penuh perjuangan, despite the fact that it is such a cool thing; and still, i shed tears in the end of this film.
aku selalu menikmati genre dokumenter, dan setelah Al Gore&#8217;s An Inconvenient Truth, ARTIFACT adalah dokumentasi yang brilian.

finally!

ARTIFACT of 30 Seconds To Mars 

never thought that behind some great music and awesome personas of the band, there goes a very tough struggle to live every single beat of this life.

mungkin aku tidak memahami kenapa industri musik begitu rumit, melelahkan, dan penuh perjuangan, despite the fact that it is such a cool thing; and still, i shed tears in the end of this film.

aku selalu menikmati genre dokumenter, dan setelah Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, ARTIFACT adalah dokumentasi yang brilian.

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these days i feel like … having a horror personality -_-

sayangnya, aku tidak tahu persis apa artinya, dan apakah persona seperti itu memang ada.

yang jelas, i just don’t get it!

realizing that i don’t really get along with her casually, i find it hard for me to understand her situation - in my perspective. ini bukan yang pertama kali, justru yang ke-sekian kali, and yes, i do feel like how in the hell that i don’t get it? i should have … like, you know … just simply got the point.

has it been because i am a sensitive person, at all?

has it been because i tend to make mistakes all the time, all over again? being unable to understand one’s predicament?

is it only me?

padahal, meskipun merasa tidak pernah segitunya menjadi “mahluk umum” yang memiliki perangai seperti kebanyakan orang, aku yakin ada sebagian dari diriku yang setidaknya berusaha respecting the common values, tanpa berusaha basa-basi, but due to my personal urge to do it, sincerely.

maksudku, ada hal-hal yang sama sekali aku tidak mengerti tentang dia, padahal seharusnya dia berada dalam keadaan yang bisa dimengerti.

well, i get my mind twisted here!

because, i ended up not only feeling like i was used by her, but also feeling like annoyed.

tired.

confused.

unwilling to push myself to get her.

i mean, how can i understand her if she doesn’t even let me do so?

the more i try, the more she’s unreachable!

the end of the story? well, i just close the door.

bukan benci, but she didn’t exist. period.

and about him? aduh! yang ini juga, very, very annoying!

aku kah yang belakangan ini tidak ber-empati terhadap orang lain? sehingga merasa menjadi korban dari sesuatu yang tidak aku mengerti?

bagian mana yang tidak aku mengerti?

SEMUANYA!

kenapa jadi harus aku yang selalu adjusting?

untuk yang satu ini pun, aku menyerah! it’s tiring; unexpectedly consuming my energy while i have to work hard to keep myself sane.

when i look back, ini adalah keputusanku sendiri.

i got that box thingy in my room, and i will use it real soon to make my plan of having my own Pandora box come true.

it’s a Zeus punishment, then Aphrodite shed grace upon her head, Athena clothed her, and Hermes gave the name.

and i am a female.

jadi, hadapi saja, berhenti sesekali, dan itu adalah perasaan yang final. yang pada akhirnya harus aku rasakan karena kalau tidak, sangat mudah untuk menyalahkan orang lain, blaming her, blaming him.

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December has already left.
While the rain stays.
And the farewell comes.


I mean, it really comes to the end.


While I want to end all of it, sepertinya hujan tidak membiarkanku melepaskannya dengan mudah.


How can I ?!


Melihat dalam nuansa indigo, dengan ketenangan dan coolness yang menjadi ciri khas, dan the Hanafiah thingy yang benar-benar lekat; reaksi pertama yang terjadi padaku adalah : everything, but mine.


Just, how can I ?!


The silenced circumstances showed me nothing but the impossibility - meskipun tetap seperti ada bagian yang tidak terpisahkan ; betapapun
sederhananya itu. Seperti sesuatu yang tak pernah selesai, dan tidak yakin apakah lebih baik diselesaikan atau biarkan saja.


Beyond words, selalu ada charm yang tidak bisa terlisankan dengan kata-kata. Pencuri perhatian yang sempurna. Dan tidak sedikit pun aku mengabaikan euforia yang benar-benar mendominasi - mengalahkan rasa lain apapun secara tiba-tiba.


Dan sedikit saja langit berubah menjadi abu-abu, sinar matahari tertutup teduhnya awan, angin berhembus hingga sampai bisa melayangkan helaian rambutku, aku hampir selalu melihat keluar jendela kaca tanpa ingin menyentuhnya, dan mengamati baik-baik warna kelabu di balik kaca: just one day, just one chance, just be mine.


I said that I have always loved rain, and the way I have always enjoyed it my way is something of extraordinary; then when it rains, I wish for the chance to be side by side, to see how the drops of water do matter.


For it makes me feel cool.

Stay sane.

Stay alive.

And it matters that I enjoy it together.

For god’s sake, one day won’t hurt anyone!

Nothing is fantastically exciting than talking and knowing the depth of mind. Meaning: set the comfortableness, and explore. For hours. And of course, along with good music. And something to munch on. A 24-hour will do all the goodness.

The rest? Preparing myself with the very last goodbye.


I can’t decide whether I will end it up in tears or smile.
But I may have to let it go just like the universe lets December goes: it has to be, it is just the way it is.

And the same thing: as December will always come back each year in a routine and destined period, I may have opportunities to meet up with him and share the casualties within limits.

I mean, aku membutuhkan ‘selamat tinggal’ yang layak. Otherwise? Aku tidak akan bisa merasa tenang dan berhenti memikirkannya.

Maksudku, ayolah, aku harus menyampaikan isi hatiku agar perasaan “unfinished” usai dan tidak perlu lagi membebaniku dengan cara yang “miserable” sekaligus menyenangkan.

Hell, letting go ain’t easy when it comes to things dear to my very heart.

Something which is everything but mine.

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akhirnya … mendapatkan salah satu basic contentments yang tidak semustahil encountering Chiko Hanafiah dalam kehidupan nyata. a rare chance. dan hanya bisa kubayangkan betapa krusialnya jika apa yang ada di benakku menjadi nyata.

reading the first chapter, then i can’t stop. DAMN SITTA! (she’s just … gorgeous!)

i dare myself not to think that it’s the Hanafiah’s charm after all, but it takes more than just some great things, karena pasti ada sesuatu yang meaningful beneath the surface. tidak sekedar kemasan luar yang very charming. some attitudes. some “it-thingy”. some sumptuousness.

and … he did it again!

pastinya, dia tidak mau repot-repot merasa bahwa orang lain (aku) akan merasa sangat … terusik.

in the beginning of the day, i realize that we met for a reason: either you’re a blessing or a lesson.

se- damn apapun rasanya!

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after all, yang kuperlukan adalah painkiller. simply. untuk persediaan juga. i can stand the feeling of missing the people dear to my very heart - no matter how bad it is. tapi menahan nyeri di sebelah kepala yang selalu datang persistently ketika terlalu capek, dan literally kepanasan dan dehidrasi, i really can’t take it. most of the time, i will close my eyes tightly and hold back tears - and that’s terrible! tadinya kupikir Tylenol adalah sesuatu yang hanya akan satu dua kali kugunakan dalam setahun, tapi sekarang, it’s mandatory to keep it. efeknya menyenangkan, dan menelan pil tidak lagi mengerikan - seperti yang sebelumnya selalu terjadi.

dan tentang hal yang mengerikan, ternyata tidak se-mengerikan itu, untuk memberanikan diri melakukan sesuatu yang tidak berani kulakukan karena alasan yang sama sekali remeh. do one thing which scares me the most everyday? mungkin tidak se-ekstrim itu, tapi setidaknya aku akan menempuh extra miles untuk seseorang seperti sosok Hanafiah. Nara, maybe? Chiko? or, Harsya? well, he is remarkably one of them! mengobrol kembali setelah sekian lama, disela dia mengerjakan tugas? rasanya melegakan bahwa dia merespon tepat seperti harapanku. it was only some short conversations, tapi tidak akan pernah terjadi jika aku tidak berani memulainya. i felt so brave today!

tapi tidak akan seberani menghadapi the truth, bahwa segala sesuatu adalah simple. entah karena jalan pikiranku selalu out of mainstream alias ruwet, atau terlalu memperhatikan detail, atau something is wrong with me. sampai sekarang, aku masih sulit percaya bahwa mendengarkan orang lain ternyata semudah itu, dengan efek yang besar dan meninggalkan kesan yang tidak bisa dilupakan begitu saja. i love talking, tapi sebenarnya suka juga mendengarkan cerita dan curahan hati orang lain. yang tampak dimataku adalah ternyata ada orang yang dengan begitu mudahnya datang kepadaku dan berbagi kisah - padahal, aku tidak banyak membantu ketika yang mereka kisahkan adalah sesuatu yang memerlukan solusi. terlepas dari seperti apa judgement si lawan bicara, orang lain mungkin bisa dengan mudahnya menemukan kenyamanan dengan tingkat tertentu sehingga sanggup membuka diri dengan batas tertentu pula. it’s amazing that they feel that way toward me. amazing, karena mereka bahkan bukan teman dekat. sesuatu yang pastinya sulit kulakukan. padahal itu seharusnya hal yang simple saja.

being brave untuk sesuatu yang simple mungkin memerlukan life-skill yang … tidak semudah itu.

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having 29 8th-graders in a hot afternoon?

hell, yeah!

the front-rowers are always the angels.

while at the back?

well, some minions, and ogres. no devils, no demons.

kalau belajar dengan siswa-siswa seperti mereka (kecuali barisan bidadari di depan) ingin rasanya punya kekuatan super.

bukan Batman - meskipun aku suka dia.

something magical. sesuatu seperti kekuatan telekinetis. a super power on the tip of my right pointer.

point at the noisemaker, and then speak in a deadly, husky voice:

"zip your mouth. or, i’ll get you up on the ceiling."

then, it happens.

while pointing at the noisemaker, the magic in me - colliding with my death glare and a pinch of anger, mostly for myself - vines outward in invincible waves, along with my finger’s moving, and slowly picks up the noisemaker, brings the noisemaker up, up, up, and lets the noisemaker rest on the ceiling.

still pointing at the noisemaker, i continue with a threat - the deadly one:

"be calm, or you stay there for the rest of your life"

afterwards, the whole class wow at me, and i end the class in a magical way; feeling like a heroine - or, much alike a goddess. or, savior of the day? 

hell, no! it’s only in my head -_-

but, the truth is i love those 29 8th-graders, karena memang seperti itulah mereka.

satu siswa perempuan yang masuk kategori angel, karena dia duduk di depan dan tidak reseh, mengenakan necklace yang langsung menarik perhatianku.

a dream-catcher necklace.

penangkap mimpi (buruk) yang filosofinya adalah diletakkan di tempat tidur. seperti a guardian dalam bentuk yang cute dan artsy.

aku memaknainya secara sederhana, sebagai penangkap mimpi - that i have many dreams to catch and make them come true.

i put it on, dan mimpiku menjadi kenyataan.